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For some people, sexual desire shows up totally spontaneously and out of the blue. But that’s not the case for this week’s listener, who wants to have sex with their girlfriend, but isn’t feeling the same excitement as they did at beginning of the relationship. Emily introduces the science of responsive desire, which is not only totally normal and healthy, but also a more common way of experiencing desire. For a transcript of this episode, click here.

You can take Petra Zebroff’s Questionnaire for Turn-on Initiation Preferences here.

If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.

The Host

Emily Nagoski

Emily Nagoski, host of Come As You Are, is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestseller Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your…