Maya Lau
Maya Lau is the creator, host and executive producer of the podcast, Other People’s Pockets, produced by Pushkin Industries and Little Everywhere. She's an award-winning former investigative reporter for The…
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Real job alert: Earn money from men who send you cash just because you exist, no sex involved. Mistress Marley talks bondage, real-time reparations, and why her clients think giving away money is a kinky turn-on.
Maya (0000)
I am getting a note from our producer, wanting to know if you can dom me in one sentence, like you do a client.
Marley (0011)
Oh, okay. That was a good little touch, producer. Shout out to you. Let's see. Well, what are your hard limits first? What is an absolute no?
Maya (0023)
I don't know. I don't think that I have any.
Marley (0023)
Okay. Even better.
Maya (0024)
Yeah. Yeah. Go for it. Imagine having the power to tweet something like, "I will drain your wallet.", and strangers start Venmo you like hundreds of dollars, sometimes thousands. And imagine that you find out they send you even more money when you're mean to them. Now imagine you can quit your nine to five because you're making so much money doing this. That's something my guest, Mistress Marley, figured out. She's a financial dominatrix or fin dom, which means she gets money mostly from men, who get off on giving her lots of cash.
Marley (0059)
I'm Mistress Marley. I'm a pro dominatrix in New York City specializing in financial domination.
Maya (0105)
I wanted to talk to her because she turned her master's degree in fashion marketing into a self-sustaining creative business where she gets to set her own hours. And now she makes her around four times as much money as she was making in the corporate world.
(0118)
I'm Maya Lau, and this is Other People's Pockets, the show where I ask people about their money so that the questions we all have about how much other people make and how their finances work can be a little bit less of a mystery.
(0139)
Well, Mistress Marley, thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm so excited to have you here.
Marley (0144)
Thank you for having me.
Maya (0147)
Can you explain what is financial domination, and how did it become one of your specialties?
Marley (0155)
So basically, financial domination is a practice within the BDSM and kink world. It's a psychological kink that involves a sub giving the dominant party money, whether we call it a tribute, gifts, or whatever. But the sub basically gets off by giving themselves to the dominatrix or the dom financially.
Maya (0214)
Wow. And I mean, when you explain it, and I think the more that I've heard about it, I think a lot of people kind of consider it basically a dream job, to just exist and ask for people to give you money. And they just give it to you.
Marley (0233)
Yeah. Yeah, I get that a lot. Everyone's always like, "Is this real?" When I first came into it, I didn't think it was real until it started happening. And I was like, oh, "It's real."
Maya (0242)
And so, I'm wondering if you can kind of explain more. I mean, as I understand it, you have an online presence, people can see pictures and videos of you. You ask for tributes sometimes. But you also sometimes meet people, these being your subs or your financial submissives, in person, and sometimes do things like take them to an ATM.
Marley (0308)
Yes.
Maya (0309)
Yeah. Can you talk more about what that looks like?
Marley (0312)
Yeah. So you'll have some subs that want to meet you in person, and we call them fin subs or financial subs. But then for the most part, financial domination is online. But for those subs that want to meet you, they want to do something that we call, a cash meet. And that's when you are meeting the sub at an ATM, requesting a certain amount of money they should take out, and they hand it to you. And either you can humiliate them, you can walk away, any type of embarrassment that they might ask, whatever it is, it's all consensual.
(0339)
But there are some in-person meetups in this field. Not always necessary or not always required, but I think they're the most fun because it's like, not only are you giving me your money, but you're doing it in public. And I get to humiliate you after I get the money. So to me, that's like something I just love to do.
Maya (0355)
I'm so impressed by... I think I would have so much stage fright, and I'm impressed that you can just go with it and turn on this side of you. Do you ever have a moment where you're like, "I don't know if I can do this.", or are you just totally in it?
Marley (0412)
Oh my gosh, yes. So when I first started out, it was hard for me to really get in the mode of knowing I'm going to humiliate someone. Because I'm from the south, so I have the Sweet Southern Bell thing. I've always been just a sweetheart. I think so. And my first ever cash me, I was very, very nervous. So I'm like, "What do I say to them? What if there becomes a time where I pause or don't know what to say and we're just awkwardly standing there or whatever?"
(0437)
But I got into the mode of getting better at it by, when I saw the subs, I would imagine somebody I really, really hated, especially a man, or someone that's done wrong in the past. And it was just easier in that way. And then when I realized not only was I humiliating them and doing something that made me feel good, them being humiliated was something that made them feel really good. So I was fulfilling something inside of them, while doing something I had to learn how to do and learn how to come into.
(0503)
So, it's something that, yes, I was intimidated at first. And a lot of people are intimidated at first, when they think about it. But it's one of those things that once you say that first word of humiliation, you just keep going and you can't stop. So it's like, you get better at it.
Maya (0516)
Yeah. You just have to tap into that part of you.
Marley (0519)
Exactly.
Maya (0521)
So, how much money do you make doing this?
Marley (0525)
Oh, wow. It depends. So, a tribute could range from $50 to a thousand dollars. And a tribute is really just what a sub gives you to have conversation with you or to have access to you. So that doesn't mean you have to send back any photos or videos or even have a session with them, a tribute is simply for appreciation. So, those can range from $50 to a thousand dollars.
(0547)
And then you get deeper into it when you have cash meets, because not only are you going to the cash meet and requesting they take out a thousand out of the ATM, but you're also getting a deposit before that meetup to secure the meetup. And then when you get into sessions, it gets even deeper because then it's per hour. So there's been times where I've had sessions, because like I said, I'm a pro dominatrix too, so I do the typical dom things of whipping and foot worship and all those things. So once you get into that, it can be upward of 900 an hour, a thousand an hour, whatever it may be. But I've gotten to the point where me being a financial dominatrix has done so well for me that I was able to quit my nine to five last year, last January.
Maya (0625)
Wow. Congratulations.
Marley (0627)
Yeah. Thank you, thank you.
Maya (0629)
How much money were you making at your previous job?
Marley (0633)
It was really just a entry level, like 45K a year type salary. So it was enough to get by and live in New York with roommates and things of that nature, but it was definitely not something I was happy in. It was something where even on my lunch break, I was going to see subs on ATM meet ups while I was working.
Maya (0652)
That's the best use of a lunch break.
Marley (0653)
Exactly. Exactly. Or I'd be on my laptop putting out ads or doing little things or editing pictures or whatever. So, I always was just ready to leave that job or whatever. So yeah, it wasn't what I needed.
Maya (0707)
And I mean, you have a master's degree in fashion marketing, so I imagine that that's helped you in your line of work. Now, in terms of-
Marley (0716)
Yes.
Maya (0717)
... marketing. Can you talk about what that degree has helped you with?
Marley (0722)
Yeah, for sure. So my bachelor's degree was in fashion design, and then I moved to New York to learn more about the business of fashion. So I got my master's degree in fashion marketing, and that's helped me learn my niche market, that's helped me learn how to advertise pictures, what time of the day to advertise, who to advertise to. Even if I'm just having classes for other people that want to learn how to be doms, it's setting a price for that. And what I offer with that.
(0747)
I mean, I even throw events, so I throw brunches for women that want to learn how to do this stuff. So, it's me being able to do all this marketing. My friends always call me a marketing beast. They can't understand how I'm always going, going, going. It's because in my corporate world, when I was working in corporate, that's something I just had to do in the daily. So, why not incorporate it into what I'm doing now?
Maya (0808)
Right. A lot of your clients, I think you've mentioned, are CEOs, they're Wall Street types, they're high-powered men in high-powered jobs. Do you get a sense from them about why exactly they're interested in giving away their money and also in being dominated?
Marley (0826)
I think for them, it's the lack of power that they're having with me. So they're so used to being in charge. Like you said, they're CEOs and things of that nature, so they're so used to being in charge and calling the shots and this and that. But when they come to me, none of that exists. It's all about me, I call the shots, I make the schedule. I tell you when you need to be bowing to me or giving to me or sending to me. And for them, it's just like, "Wow, I'm really being told something by someone that A, is not only younger than me, but someone that is very dominant and I might not be used to this." So I think they get off from that lack of control like, "Oh, I can't control what's going on right now. I can't tell them that they need to shut up and listen to me. I have to shut up and listen to them."
Maya (0909)
And what about when it's just them sending you money and there's no real back and forth, but it's just money appears in your account? What's that about, do you think?
Marley (0920)
Oh, that's even better, actually. If more of them could send me money and not say anything to me, oh, life will be made. But we get a lot of silent senders in financial domination. Those are people that send money. You don't know where it came from, they'll never tell you, "Oh, I sent.", or whatever. I had one sub that was doing that for a long time. Then I realized who he was, and I answered his DM because he had been a longtime sender, and I was like, "What are your fetishes? What are your kink?" And he was literally just like, "I'm not into any of that, I just want to send you money or whatever. And I would just like to keep it silent." I was like, "Perfect. That's perfect for me."
(0952)
But I think for a lot of them, is to them, I guess it gives them a thrill of knowing like, "Oh my God, I just sent money to a stranger on the other side of the world and I'm never going to see them and they don't have to talk to me. But I sent it and it's out of my wallet." I think for them, it's the thought of, "If I told someone this, they would look at me like I was crazy." So, it's different things that make them feel great or fulfilled.
Maya (1032)
You mentioned you have this whole business, and I'm curious more about your business model. You have a segment where you do financial domination. You also do in-person dominatrix, what people classically think of a dominatrix setup being. You have these brunches, you mentioned, you have classes. Can you tell us how it all breaks out? What do you make the most money off of? What do you make the least money off of?
Marley (1102)
I would have to say that I make the most money off of my in-person sessions and my online courses, because everyone wants to do everything online. Yes, I still have successful in-person events, but if there's an online option, of course, everyone's going to take it, just to be safe. I will say I make a good amount of money with my in-person events and things of that nature. But it just takes so much to put those together, like finding a venue, getting caterers, getting decorations, all those different types of things.
(1131)
So it's just like, I try to make myself accessible in different ways because I realize that what I'm doing is something that a lot of people are curious about, but are scared to jump into. So of course, you might not have those people that can show face at a public event like this. Because at my brunches, I have subs there and we actually practice on them and things of that nature. But you might have people that work in nine to five jobs where they might be like, "Okay, I don't want to be seen in public at an event like this." But that's why I offer the online events, because they can have the freedom to be online and learn and not really have to show their face or be out in the public.
Maya (1205)
Right. Well, I mean along those lines, I kind of wanted to ask you, sex work is this thing that we both glamorize, and at the same time, society kind of doesn't know what to do with. And I'm wondering, what are some of the pitfalls of this career choice for you?
Marley (1221)
I think some of the pitfalls is the constant judgment, stereotypes, having to really explain your work and having to explain that sex work is work. Even when people... Just when I'm out at the bars or clubs, the typical conversations like, "What do you do for work?", or whatever. And I'm someone that's always been so sure on myself that I'm not going to hide what I do, but I'll tell them, I'm a dominatrix. And it's just right away it, "Oh, that's crazy. That's weird." Or, "Oh, you're not going to beat me right now." I'm like, "Okay."
Maya (1221)
I wasn't trying to.
Marley (1247)
Like, "Why would I just start beating you at the bar?" Yeah. But it's getting those stereotypes. It's having to really explain yourself and having to realize that our job isn't normal jobs. As much as we try to normalize it, yes, we can say that it's normal for us. But for other people, it will never be perceived as that. So, it's just always having to find where we fit in or just feel like we are really fighting to just be hard.
Maya (1315)
Right. Yeah. And I mean, it feels like you've done a lot of thinking and planning in terms of keeping your personal life separate, and also just in preparing to even get into this industry.
Marley (1327)
Exactly.
Maya (1328)
So, you mentioned how much tributes could be. I mean, can you give us a sense? I noticed on Twitter you recently posted you had a total sales of $105,000 to date. And we're in October this year. Can you say what the total for the year might be of all the things you do?
Marley (1352)
So the sales I posted on Twitter just today are sales from my brunches and Zoom courses and any type of party I throw. So, that's been all those sales for that. When it comes to my financial domination and things of that nature, a lot of those tributes and things are gifts through Cash App or gifts through Venmo. Just if your friend was to send you $800 on Cash App for their portion of the rent, that's how it is when it's getting sent to me on Cash App. So I would say aside from that, if I was to mentally try to add up my Cash App, Venmo, even cash gifts or anything of that nature, I would say by now October, it would be close to 50K.
(1434)
And that's just me throwing a number out there. Because there's so many things from session deposits, from when I'm having sessions, Skype, online things from when I'm doing that. There's even things such as Night Flirt, which is phone sex operation, but there are subs that want to be humiliated on the phone. So, there's so many different avenues of revenue that are coming in.
Maya (1458)
Yeah. And that's such a key part of being on top of your finances. Something I'm trying to work on is having different income streams. And it's taken me so long to realize I shouldn't just work at one job.
Marley (1514)
Yeah. That's how I saw myself. I came in as a financial dominatrix, but I was just like, "Okay, what happens when maybe one day something happens and I can't do this anymore, or I get tired of it or whatever?" That's why now I'm working on a lingerie line, so I want to get back into fashion. So it'll just come back full circle, and it'll be advertised to sex workers. So it's like it's going to be a lingerie line, finally buy a sex worker for sex workers.
Maya (1537)
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Marley (1538)
So it's just trying to have those different streams and bringing everything back full circle.
Maya (1542)
Right. And I mean, you mentioned something about, this may not be what you want to do forever. Do think about where does this lead to? Is there going to become a point in time where you're like, "I don't want to do this anymore." I don't know. Do you have a thought about what's kind of the future of this for you?
Marley (1602)
I think for me, it depends on where the culture of kink and is going. Right now it's really, really big and popular because it's been shown in pop culture very much so lately. Whether it's a Netflix show, whether it's these artists in their music videos wearing leather and latex, things of that nature. But I think I'll be in a space where I always will want to be a kink educator and throwing events, because I get so much joy from throwing events and doing things. But will I be 90 years old still whipping someone in a dungeon? It depends.
Maya (1641)
I'm so impressed. The amount of money you're making sounds like at least 150K, at least, as of only as of October, is definitely a far cry from the 45K you were making before. What has this allowed you to achieve financially that you might not have been able to at obtain otherwise?
Marley (1703)
Oh, wow. So, I came from a family of six kids. My mom and dad are still married. So I came from a family of, we didn't really have money to do a lot of extracurricular things. For instance, I'm going to Disney on Wednesday. Never been to Disney in my life, and I'm going as an adult. And I wasn't able to do that when I was younger because there were so many of us. And we lived in different areas from the suburbs to the projects to the outskirts and all these different things. So I really didn't grow up with a financial knowledge that I needed. Did not grow up financially responsible, was not taught things of how to do taxes and how to do this and that and apply for loans was really just thrown into it. That's just how I feel.
(1745)
So ever since I've come into this career, I've been able to do things for myself. I've been able to save money, I've been able to keep a nice savings account. And pay things on time and improve my credit score and pay off loans and just do all these different things that I wasn't able to do. And within that, I'm able to help my parents. I'm able to send them money, I'm able to just buy them things if I want to buy them things. But at the same time, while learning that financial responsibility that I didn't have growing up from age when I was in college until up until age 24, I want to say.
(1817)
So it's really just... It's taught me a lot about saving. It's taught me a lot about how to deal with so much money coming in at once. It's taught me about how to get business licenses and how to properly do my taxes and report things. It's just things I had to learn on my own. But I feel like if I hadn't got pushed to this point, I wouldn't have learned it.
Maya (1836)
What are some of your long-term financial goals?
Marley (1840)
So right now, I'm putting money into a dungeon I'm trying to build in New York City. That's going to be another stream of income. So basically, a dungeon really, where we focus on black sex workers having a safe space, because we deal a lot... Even I starting out as a dame, I dealt a lot with a of passive aggressiveness and spaces that were mostly white or white owned or whatever. So, just really having those spaces for us.
(1902)
And then, it's not a lot of dungeons in New York. A lot of dungeons got shut down during the pandemic. One dungeon that was black owned got shut down, so it's just me and my girlfriends who are also doms putting this dungeon together. So, it's for me to put my money into that long term. And also, I want to start a school, like a dominatrix academy with tuitions and semesters and all these different things. So, I think it's just me always thinking, "How can I give back to the community that supports me so much all the time? How can I give back to them all at once?"
(1931)
So my long-term goal financially, is always about healing and building within the community. So I feel like as long as you heal and build and put money into the community, the universe will always give back. You'll always have abundance. You'll always be able to move how you need to move. So, those are pretty much my long-term goals.
Maya (2000)
So, many of your clients are white men?
Marley (2002)
Yes.
Maya (2003)
And one of the paddles that you spank people with says reparations on it.
Marley (2010)
Yes.
Maya (2010)
Do you explicitly talk about reparations with your white male clients?
Marley (2016)
I do. I definitely do. So, I do a lot of reparations play, is what we call it. I do a lot of making them do research on black women or black women in power, whatever.
Maya (2027)
That's awesome.
Marley (2028)
Yeah. I do a lot of-
Maya (2029)
So, they have homework?
Marley (2031)
Yeah. So I give them homework or I even just make them research me and do a paperwork on me and who I am. A lot of my subs when they approach, I'm like, "If you want to approach me and serve me like you're saying, I want you to want to serve me beyond what you're seeing in the images and that you think I'm beautiful and I'm hot." Okay. Anyone can say that. It's like, I want you to really study who I am and what I like so that you can properly serve me, so that it's not just something you're doing out of boredom or because you have some extra money to spend today.
(2058)
So, I do a lot of just educating them. And I also run a group called, Black Dom Sorority, where it's a hundred of us. A couple members are in L.A., so we're all over. And I use the subs to serve us at events. We have sleepovers and brunches and all types of things. And we'll have the white subs there, and they'll really be bowing down to us. So, I love just that element of my work.
Maya (2121)
So you mentioned Black Dom Sorority, you'll have these... And that's a group of black and Afro-Latina women and non-binary people who are all dominatrixes. Is that right?
Marley (2133)
Right. Yes.
Maya (2134)
And so, you'll have these white subs. Will they be serving the food and cleaning up?
Marley (2139)
Yeah, so they'll serve the food. We've had them in maid outfits before cleaning up. We'll do little fashion shows with them, little humiliating things, things that they consented to we'll have. So for instance, in December, we're having our holiday party in New York. So, the holiday party's going to be so much fun because we're going to do so many different things like making the subs pose as Christmas trees and just throwing decorations on them and things of that nature.
(2202)
It's really for our entertainment, but it's also for them to realize, you wanting to serve us goes beyond you just typing this to me on Twitter. I want to see in person, that you're really dedicated to serve us. Because anybody can say, "Oh, I love serving black doms and things of that nature." And a lot of the times, these subs, they try to see us as a fetish or they fetishize us. And so it's me really saying, "You can like what you like, but also, you have to understand what you're liking. And you have to see that person as a person also, not just as a kink or a fetish."
Maya (2234)
And what kind of transformation have you seen? Have you have had conversations with your subs where they actually get it and they, I don't know, have more of a realization of what it means to... for there to be reparations or for them to actually respect black women? Do you get that kind of feedback from them?
Marley (2255)
Yeah, I've definitely seen a transformation. I mean, I've had one sub that says that he's learning more about black history and learning more beyond his scope of what he was taught growing up. And I have subs that I have them donate to certain causes or whatever that support black people, black sex workers in general. So it's just always me teaching them how to give back, but also me teaching them that when I'm not around, 'cause I might not always be around, I might not always be your dom, you still need to hold us to this same stature that you're holding me. So, it shouldn't just be where you're just holding Mistress Marley as a black woman to a certain stature because you think she's hot and sexy and you want to serve her. It should be every black woman that crosses your path, you should be treating like this.
Maya (2353)
Have you ever actually controlled someone's bank account, gotten their password and everything?
Marley (2359)
So not their bank account password, but there is something that we do in fin dom called, TeamViewer, and that's basically when you remotely control their computer from your house. So I've controlled it... And they watch you do it the whole time. But I've controlled their laptops or whatever from my house, and I've gone into their PayPal, logged in, and sent myself money, or gone into their Cash App or Venmo and sent myself money. So, it's pretty much the same thing. So, you have some subs that want that to happen for them.
Maya (2426)
Wow.
Marley (2426)
Yeah.
Maya (2427)
Again, dream job. I mean but at the same time, you have a lot of content out there on different platforms. You have an OnlyFans account where people can see nude photos and videos of you. There's a possibility that those silent senders are also taking in some of that content, right?
Marley (2449)
But I think the thing with them too is that when they're looking at my content on OnlyFans, my content is under the male gaze, but it's not for the male gaze, if that makes sense. So my content is not me trying to convince you to touch me or be all over me, or I want you, or I'm whatever they might say, or I'm horny or what a lot of people might do. My content is more so on the fact of, "Look at me, you'll never be able to touch me. You'll never be able to even be in the same room as me. You're a loser." It's still me humiliating, but in a way of being sensual with it.
Maya (2519)
And I mean, this might be a really stupid question, but do you think that this type of thing, especially the fin dom stuff, could work if there wasn't literally anything sexual about it? If you were just in your sweats and didn't even post a picture of yourself or something, would it work or?
Marley (2540)
Oh, for sure, because when I first started out, it was just strictly content on Twitter, posting my feet, posting a picture of me doing a loser sign, not even really having that OnlyFans network or whatever. And then there's a lot of doms too, that are faceless. They just show the neck down. There's a lot of subs that love catfish fetish, so they love for you to use a fake picture on them and tell them it's a fake picture, and they just love it. So-
Maya (2540)
This is amazing. Yes.
Marley (2605)
... there's different... So yeah, there's so many. One of the main questions I get, because I get a lot of women that do have these nine to five jobs, and they ask me, "How can I do this without showing my face?" And I'm like, "You can definitely do this without showing your face.", because there's some subs that really just feed or just like to see you in stockings from the waist down or whatever. There's so many different ways you can make money without ever showing your face.
Maya (2626)
Well, that's amazing. I didn't realize you can even make money not even showing a picture of yourself.
Marley (2631)
Yeah, you can. You definitely can.
Maya (2633)
Wow. How do you decide what your rate should be?
Marley (2639)
So my rates are decided upon, how much energy am I putting into something mentally, physically, and emotionally? So if I'm whipping someone, that's physical, that's something that can make your arm sore by the end of it or takes a lot of physical energy. So, I would charge upward of 800 a hour for that. If I'm doing something where I'm verbally humiliating somebody, okay, that's not as intense, it's physical domination. So, maybe I'll do 300 a hour for that. If I'm doing something where they want multiple kinks in one hour, it's like, "Okay, you really have to charge for that, a thousand and upwards." So, it just really depends on what you're putting into it.
(2711)
If it's ever to a point where you're doing something and you're thinking, "Oh my God, this is emotionally doing so much for me or mentally. Or, "I had to do so much to get prepared for this." And as Doms, we spend a lot of money on our outfits. Leather and latex is not cheap. We spend a lot of money on our outfits, self-care of our outfits, of our tools. A lot of these tools are handmade. A lot of them are real leather and wood and things of that nature. So, that's how I really determine my rates is, how much energy is being put into what I'm doing?
Maya (2740)
I'm so curious, as you mentioned that your expenses and I think about your taxes or something. What all are your expenses?
Marley (2750)
So my expenses vary from, until I open a dungeon, I am renting out dungeons for a session. So those are usually hourly fees, and those usually change per dungeon. So one dungeon might charge 75 a hour, you might have another one that charges 150. It just depends on what's available that day and what you can use. So it's dungeon expenses, it's expenses of wanting to buy new tools and new toys, because a lot of these things have wear and tear over time. So I've had a lot of paddles and things I've had to throw out because they can't be used anymore. They've been used so much.
(2819)
Leather and latex. There's sometimes instances accidentally in latex where you might get oil or spill something on it and it's damaged so you have to replace it. Those things are very sensitive and easy to mess up. So, it's just dealing with incidentals like that. Expenses such as traveling to the session. But a lot of these expenses are put into the session price, so they're pretty much covered by the sub. But these are different expenses that we have.
(2841)
And me just being a very, very feminine woman, I always have my hair done every two weeks and nails and all these different types of cosmetic things and keeping up with my general health and all these different things. So, a lot of this money goes into things. It's not always, "Oh, I got this big stack of money and it's going straight into the savings." Some of it might go into the savings, but some of it is going towards other expenses because as a dom, especially in this industry where you're doing physical domination in person, your looks are everything.
Maya (2908)
Yeah. How many hours a day do you work?
Marley (2913)
It depends. So one thing about sex work too is, your schedule is never the same. So my busiest days are days when I have sessions back to back, or when I'm recording content all day. So I like to work smart and not hard, so I'll spend a whole day recording content in different videos and post it on different days. The subs don't know what days I did it or if... whatever. So those to me, are the hardest because content creation is so hard. I mean, you spend all the time in the world, first of all, just doing your makeup and hair and your outfit. And then you have to set up the self-timer and the editing and the lighting and making sure you're doing it at the right time of the day so you are getting lighting. So, that itself takes a long time.
(2950)
But I will say maybe on an average day of sessions, or whether it's virtual or whatever, or planning events, I will say I'm up at nine o'clock and maybe done around three. So, maybe I work at nine to three. So, it just depends. But it's that ability to be able to set my schedule and be able to say, "You know what? I'm not seeing anyone today, or I'm not seeing anyone tomorrow. I'll see whoever I want to see on Thursday." I could do a whole day of sessions on a Thursday and make what I needed to make for the month. So, it's different ways to just set it up. But one thing about me is, I'm always big on taking. I will take time off. I do not care. I will take the time off and vacation. Even me coming to L.A. was vacation and time off just for myself. So, you have to really just make that time.
Maya (3035)
Yeah. I mean, that kind of brings me to one of the questions I had, which is, we all have days at work where we're just like, "Ugh, I have to go to work." Do you ever feel like that? Or do you feel mostly like you love this?
Marley (3050)
I love it. I think I only get times where I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm so tired." or whatever, when it's the day of an event, because I know events take a lot out of me. So it's like there's so many things that always come up day of event like the decorator isn't replying to your text right away, or the caterer saying they're going to be this many minutes later, whatever. So, it's always little things like that that come up.
(3110)
But within my actual work of being a pro dom and a financial dominatrix, I never get to that point. I get excited when it comes to doing sessions. Even if it's just online or someone sending me money or a virtual Skype session or whatever it might be, I just always get excited. "Cause I'm like... Especially if it's a new client, 'cause I get to meet someone new and that first introduction is everything. And it's just like you never know where it can go. This can be my client that only wanted one session today, or this could be my client that's sending money every day for me. So for me, it's the thrill and the excitement because in this industry, you never know where things are going to go.
Maya (3155)
What do you indulge in financially?
Marley (3158)
I love bags. I'm a bag fanatic. Going through the fashion industry growing up or in college where I couldn't afford none of the things we were learning about, to be able to afford those things now, it gives me pride on... It gives me a deeper sense of it. It's like a kid in a candy store. So, I definitely indulge. I think I buy at least one luxury bag a month-
Maya (3221)
Oh, wow.
Marley (3222)
... at this point. Yeah. So I'm trying to work on it, but to me it's just like, I just love how it is. And for me, it's not even just buying the bag, it's some of these luxury stores give such good experiences. You walk in and you get the champagne and you get all these different things going on. And to me, it's just the air of it, of just how it feels to be in spaces that I would've never thought I'd be able to be in. Or spaces to where me going around New York, even when I had no money, I would be on Fifth Avenue going to shop and just feel embarrassed that I was in there, and couldn't really spend any money, or just feel like I would never be able to obtain these things. So, I will say that I'm a bag fanatic right now.
Maya (3300)
Nice. Another question we have for everyone is, what does enough look like to you?
Marley (3308)
What does enough look like For me? Enough for me, I guess would be being fulfilled emotionally and mentally. So for me, it's like even if I wasn't financially stable or financially to do the things I could do, I think as long as I was fine mentally and emotionally, I would be great. Because a lot of people make a lot of this money and they hate themselves. Or they don't feel good about themselves, so they're never fulfilled or is not enough for them. But for me, it's just like as long as I have good people around me and I can give back to people and I feel great about myself and what I'm doing, that's all that matters.
Maya (3351)
Do you feel like you have enough right now?
Marley (3354)
No. You can always want more. You can always want more. I don't have enough bags. But no, I think I do have enough love within me and outside of me. So, I have so many amazing people around me that have supported this journey. Because for me it's different. It's one thing to be a sex worker online, doing your own thing, and you're not really in the scope of everyone's eyes and stuff. But for me to be doing all that, plus everyone's always watching me and I'm in these big publications and doing these things and I feel like people are waiting for me to mess up, is I have all these people that support me.
(3428)
I mean, just having the privilege alone of my parents supporting my sex work is big. There are so many people in this industry that can't even tell their parents because they'll get disowned, kicked out, whatever it might be. But I have parents that not only support what I do, but they want to be a part of it. My mom's going to be my assistant for my lingerie line.
Maya (3446)
Oh, wow.
Marley (3446)
She's helping me with all these things. And my dad's always asking, "Do you need business cards? You need this." Or my dad's like, "I saw someone today that might could be a sub." I'm like, "Okay, dad. I don't even know what that means for you." But it's just having all these people. I mean, my best friend is my assistant. My two other best friends are running a dungeon with me. Just having all these people that are close to me that are supporting what I'm doing, that are always there. I mean, they're there through everything, through the meltdowns before an event, through the nervousness before certain things, through having to deal with crazy clients. I mean, sometimes my best friends come and sit in as security at my session. So it's just like, that will always be enough for me.
Maya (3526)
I heard that you have an affirmation that you say to yourself in the mirror every day. And I'm wondering if you can teach it to us.
Marley (3535)
So affirmations are always a good thing because you could either repeat it to yourself in the mirror or you can record your voice saying it on your phone and play it as you're going to sleep.
Maya (3542)
I've never thought of that.
Marley (3544)
Yeah. So a lot of people like to listen to mantras by other people, which are good. But to me, it has the most force in it when it's your own voice. So, imagine you fallen asleep and you're subconsciously listening to yourself and your ears say these things. You're going to believe it because it's your voice.
Maya (3600)
Right.
Marley (3604)
So it's, I'm a bad bitch.
Maya (3606)
I'm a bad bitch.
Marley (3607)
I'm a money magnet.
Maya (3609)
I'm a money magnet.
Marley (3610)
Everything I want, I get.
Maya (3612)
Everything I want, I get.
Marley (3613)
I'm healthy, I'm wealthy, I'm that bitch.
Maya (3617)
I'm healthy, I'm wealthy, I'm that bitch.
Marley (3619)
Yes.
Maya (3620)
I love it.
Marley (3620)
Yes.
Maya (3624)
I'm getting a note from our producer wanting to know if you can dom me in one sentence, like you do a client.
Marley (3634)
Oh, okay. That was a good little touch, producer. Shout out to you. What are your hard limits, first? What is an absolute no?
Maya (3646)
Can you give me an example of what a hard limit is?
Marley (3649)
So a hard limit is something that's just like, "No, absolutely don't say to me."
Maya (3653)
I mean, I don't think that I have... I don't know. I don't think that I have any.
Marley (3659)
Okay. Even better.
Maya (3701)
Yeah. Yeah. Go for it.
Marley (3702)
All right. So, hey little bitch. You're going to give me all your money and you're going to dream about me when you go to sleep. And I'm all you're going to ever think about because I'm all that matters to you, and your life is worthless without sending me money.
Maya (3716)
Amazing. Thank you. Well, I actually have sent you money because I've subscribed to one of your channels. So...
Marley (3727)
Oh, a silence send... We have a silence sender, guys.
Maya (3730)
Yes, I'm a silent sender.
(3737)
Other People's Pockets is written and hosted by me, Maya . It's produced by me, along with Joy Sanford and Dann Gallucci. Production helped by Angela Vain. Our mix engineer is Dann Gallucci. Our executive producers are me, Maya , along with Jane Marie and Dann Gallucci. Special thanks to the silent senders.
(3804)
Other People's Pockets is a production of Pushkin Industries. If you love this show, consider subscribing to Pushkin plus offering bonus content and ad-free listening across our network For $4 and 99 cents a month. Look for the Pushkin Plus channel on Apple Podcasts or at pushkin.fm.
(3820)
To find more Pushkin podcasts, listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. You can sign up for Pushkin newsletters at pushkin.fm.
(3842)
This episode was recorded in the fall of 2021, so some of the time references you heard may be a little off.
The Host
